L.A.W. - NAM ILL CHO GETS HIS
Ok this is the first edition of L.A.W. (Loser Ass of the Week). To start off such a prestigious award I had to select the person that most embodies the qualities that L.A.W. seeks to put out in the open for all to see. Ill has long been the caboose on the loser train. His mother once told me in confidence that when he was born, Ill came out ass first, cuz he was just ready to be fucked. I could go on and on with cuttups but I'll tell an anecdote that was my epiphany to Ill's loser fuckin status.
This was a while back in Nova, I had recently met Ill over at Nop's house and I went over to Nops on a thursday night to see what was going on. I remember thinking to myself who is this asian guy with a northface parka that is acting thuggish. Anyways I walk in and Ill is like "what up yo" with a scowl. I don't know why he was trying to thug up on me as I don't wear fubu like he was that evening. So anyways we're chillin at Nops and the idea comes about to go to this bar right near his house, Ned Devine's.
We walk into Ned Devine's and I immediately started up conversation with a few friends I knew there. Nop is talking to the girl with most ugly fuckin frames in the whole place and Ill is thugging it hard fuckin core at the bar. What happened next was absolutely stunning.
Three stools down from Ill, this corporate yuppie drinking warrior was high fiving his accounting buddies, and just rolling up on every corporate girl that walked by. This one girl walks by and bumps into the bar and her purse knocks over his drink. He looks around and sees Ill with his kangol and his parka sipping on an amstel light. As 50 cent said "I smell pussy".
This J.Crew tough guy walks up to Ill and is like "you spilled my drink bitch!"
Ill tries to be hard to deflect the threat "Yo kid I aint knock shit over"
The look on this carbomb drinking, bad haircut having, button down cool guy was like he had seen more street cred in the playground by his crappy condo amongst the 15 yr olds then he did out of bald headed gay ass Korean Charlie Brown. "Buy me another bitch! Dont make me FUCK YOU!" he said with his fists clinched.
Ill then grabbed the bartender's arm almost pulling it out of his socket and is like "Yo! get my man here two shots of henny"
The guy pours the henny and ill hands the two shots to the Brooks Brothers bastard and is like "its cool we boys man"
Mr cool guy drops the shots on the ground and is like "fuck that I want two miller lights"
Ill gets them and walks away. I saw this out of the corner of my eye while I was talking to friends, and why didn't I interefere??? Cuz Mr Tough Guy was only 5'7 140lbs max!!!!!!!! I've never seen someone act so thug, and this is Ill a few years back when he thought he had legit street cred, get punked so fuckin hard. He asked me a few minutes later, "yo i aint got any money left spot me for a beer?"
Man it sucks when you have to get your friends pity beer. I guess Ill is a born dumbbell. Always getting muscled. Oh yeah also I heard Ill likes to sleep with his shirt off covering his nipples like a girl that has been suprised by someone accidently walking into the bathroom while she just got outta the shower.
Ill you are the L.A.W. of the week!!!!!!!!!
Noone is above the L.A.W. ......... except Steven Segal
This was a while back in Nova, I had recently met Ill over at Nop's house and I went over to Nops on a thursday night to see what was going on. I remember thinking to myself who is this asian guy with a northface parka that is acting thuggish. Anyways I walk in and Ill is like "what up yo" with a scowl. I don't know why he was trying to thug up on me as I don't wear fubu like he was that evening. So anyways we're chillin at Nops and the idea comes about to go to this bar right near his house, Ned Devine's.
We walk into Ned Devine's and I immediately started up conversation with a few friends I knew there. Nop is talking to the girl with most ugly fuckin frames in the whole place and Ill is thugging it hard fuckin core at the bar. What happened next was absolutely stunning.
Three stools down from Ill, this corporate yuppie drinking warrior was high fiving his accounting buddies, and just rolling up on every corporate girl that walked by. This one girl walks by and bumps into the bar and her purse knocks over his drink. He looks around and sees Ill with his kangol and his parka sipping on an amstel light. As 50 cent said "I smell pussy".
This J.Crew tough guy walks up to Ill and is like "you spilled my drink bitch!"
Ill tries to be hard to deflect the threat "Yo kid I aint knock shit over"
The look on this carbomb drinking, bad haircut having, button down cool guy was like he had seen more street cred in the playground by his crappy condo amongst the 15 yr olds then he did out of bald headed gay ass Korean Charlie Brown. "Buy me another bitch! Dont make me FUCK YOU!" he said with his fists clinched.
Ill then grabbed the bartender's arm almost pulling it out of his socket and is like "Yo! get my man here two shots of henny"
The guy pours the henny and ill hands the two shots to the Brooks Brothers bastard and is like "its cool we boys man"
Mr cool guy drops the shots on the ground and is like "fuck that I want two miller lights"
Ill gets them and walks away. I saw this out of the corner of my eye while I was talking to friends, and why didn't I interefere??? Cuz Mr Tough Guy was only 5'7 140lbs max!!!!!!!! I've never seen someone act so thug, and this is Ill a few years back when he thought he had legit street cred, get punked so fuckin hard. He asked me a few minutes later, "yo i aint got any money left spot me for a beer?"
Man it sucks when you have to get your friends pity beer. I guess Ill is a born dumbbell. Always getting muscled. Oh yeah also I heard Ill likes to sleep with his shirt off covering his nipples like a girl that has been suprised by someone accidently walking into the bathroom while she just got outta the shower.
Ill you are the L.A.W. of the week!!!!!!!!!
Noone is above the L.A.W. ......... except Steven Segal
posted by Zack Morris aka Alfonso Nietzsche at 12:35 PM
2 Comments:
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1. Yes you can be a law 52 times a year. However I would highly recommend getting a noose and hanging out somewhere if you even pulled half of that. A law of that caliber deserves nothing but suicide.
2. LAW will be done once a week or twice a month, or even more if the situation warrants it. You guys are fuckin losers and Im that cool guy who sat at the head of the cool table in school letting everyone know where they stood in the social jungle. Call me the lion for I hunt alone.
3. I dont even remember what you're third question was. Matter of fact why is someone like you even talking to me? Go slice your wrists from the base of your palm vertically to your elbow. Your death would be our (meaning the entire east coast and korea) collective joy.
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